Lachen ist gesund - die Fortsetzung

[nollipa]

[quote=""steve0564""]nachdem Anthea letzte Woche so zugeschlagen hat, hier nun wieder ein Download:

Der Lynx-Effekt! [/quote]


Wer hat mich denn da wieder im Urlaub gefilmt...

...

[emarzinkowski]

stehst du öfter mit 2 Deosprays am Strand und wartest, dass die Frauen kommen?

[steve]

[quote=""ramibi""]Hi Erna,

lass die Finger von diesem Produkt

Bei steve0564 kann es nichts gebracht haben, denn dann hätte er IMHO keine Zeit, die ganzen Links ins Board zu hängen [/quote]

Sowas mache ich doch mit lynx!!

[emarzinkowski]

Klasse Wortspiel

[ramibi]

[quote=""steve0564""]Sowas mache ich doch mit lynx!! [/quote]


... achso - auch noch ein lynxshänder

[nollipa]

einmal zum Thema Lynx:

ich gebe es ja zu: Ich war im Urlaub (Caorle) da stehen erstens ein paar Sonnenschirme rum und zweitens bin ich ich ja mit meiner ersten Frau ganz gut ausgelastet...

und nochmal weil es gerade passt:

"... mein Kollege und ich benutzen nur noch Deospray mit FCKW damit die Pole schneller abschmelzen und die Holländer absaufen ..."

[lafleur]

Warnung:
Dieses Produkt zieht jeden anderen Gegenstand des Universums an, eingeschlossen Produkte der Konkurrenzmarken, und zwar mit einer Kraft proportional zu dem Produkt der Massen und umgekehrt proportional zum Abstand zwischen ihnen.

Achtung!
Dieses Produkt enthält elektrisch geladene Teilchen, die sich mit Geschwindigkeiten von mehr als 160 Mio. km/h bewegen.

Dieses Produkt besteht zu 100% aus Materie! In dem allerdings sehr unwahrscheinlichen Fall der Berührung mit Antimaterie muss mit einer extrem starken Verpuffungsreaktion gerechnet werden.


Kundenhinweis:
Es es leider technisch unmöglich, gleichzeitig exakt zu bestimmen, wo sich dieses Produkt genau befindet und wie schnell es sich bewegt.

Ungeachtet anderer Angaben über die Bestandteile besteht dieses Produkt in Wahrheit zu 99,9999999% aus leerem Raum.

[lafleur]

Finden Sie den Fehler im unteren Bild!






Der Schalter in der Mitte fehlt leider in allen bekannten Fällen oder ist offenbar zufallsgesteuert!

[lafleur]

Betrachten sie mich nicht als ihren Chef, sondern als guten Freund, der immer recht hat."

"Warum tut Frl. Schmidt denn heute gar nichts?"
"Sie vertritt diese Woche den Chef."

Der Personalchef interessiert sich besonders für den Familienstand.
"Ich bin Junggeselle," antwortet der Bewerber.
"Dann ist leider nichts zu machen," meint der Personalchef, "denn wir stellen nur Leute ein, die es gewohnt sind, sich unterzuordnen!"

[lafleur]

Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
Your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
You can get dog hair from your belly button.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
You got Clapper devices controling the appliances in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean

[lafleur]

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table ... no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

DATING (Outside the Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been waiting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago,"
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

[lafleur]

"The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
* Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
* Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
* Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war.- Hell, do both, get married!
* Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.

God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
* The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
* Revolution Books. New York, New York.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
* Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.

Express Lane: Five beers or less
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.

You're too good for him. * Sign over mirror in Women's restroom,
* Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.

No wonder you always go home alone. * Sign over mirror in Men's
restroom, * Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA."

The Difference between right and wrong, is how your lawyer explains it...
* Every Government Office in Washington

[lafleur]

1. What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?

2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

3. What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4. What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?

5. Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?

6. What does a dog do that you can step into?

7. What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?

8. What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?

9. What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?

10. What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (pants)
7. (fork)
8. (Almond Joy candy bar)
9. (grit)
10. (last name)

[steve]

Beachvolleyballder besonderen Art!!

[harbad]

[quote=""steve0564""]Gelöscht![/quote]

den verstehe ich nicht.

[emarzinkowski]

war aber gut

[steve]

[quote=""harbad""]den verstehe ich nicht. [/quote]

Erklärung:
Hatte grad gemerkt, dass die Datei unvollständig war. Ich lad sie grad nochmal hoch, dann ändere ich das Post wieder.....

edit: siehe deshalb hier!!

[taiga]

[quote=""Erlefranz""]Hi Anthea,

was issn mit dir los, warste auf einem Witze Seminar... : [/quote]

Ich glaube nicht ....Anthea liest uns jetzt die ersten Seiten wieder vor.

[nollipa]

Nach dem Deospray Tag gestern,

mal wieder was aus der Tierwelt:

Ladybird

Viel Spass dabei! Falls wieder mal was nicht funzen sollte, bitte posten! Grade eben gings noch...

[Erlefranz]

[quote=""nollipa""]Nach dem Deospray Tag gestern,

mal wieder was aus der Tierwelt:

Ladybird

Viel Spass dabei! Falls wieder mal was nicht funzen sollte, bitte posten! Grade eben gings noch...[/quote]

Die arme Spinne....